Unleash your superpowers
How challenging the myth of neurodivergence reveals new perspectives on empathy and emotional expression
Be yourself! . . . No, not like that!
—SOCIETY
—Jessica McCabe, How to ADHD
You’ve always known it—there’s something about the way your mind works that sets you apart.
Whether it’s the flood of ideas that rush in when you least expect them or the intensity with which you can focus on a single passion, your experience of the world feels different from those around you.
Maybe you’ve been told your mind races too much, or that you’re not connecting socially in the “right” way.
Neurodivergence isn’t a weakness, it’s often the birthplace of genius1.
Yet, despite the creative potential and brilliance often associated with neurodivergence, one of the most frustrating myths surrounding autistic individuals is the belief that they lack empathy.
This misconception has endured for far too long and has caused significant social harm.
For autistic people, who already navigate a world designed for neurotypicals, this myth not only misrepresents their lived experience but also impacts how they are perceived, often leading to social isolation and misunderstanding.
As someone deeply connected to both the personal and scientific realities of neurodivergence, I want to dig into this myth—because it’s not just a simple misunderstanding.
It's a misinterpretation of how empathy is expressed differently by neurodivergent individuals, particularly autistic people.
The reality is that empathy manifests in diverse ways, and autistic people often experience it deeply, though their expression may not fit societal norms.
The “lacking empathy” myth
The idea that autistic individuals lack empathy is rooted in early diagnostic models of autism, which oversimplified complex human experiences2.
For many years, autism was viewed through a deficit model that focused on what autistic individuals couldn’t do, painting them as disconnected and unemotional, which fueled the persistent belief that they lacked empathy and didn’t "feel" for others3.
Research, clinical studies, and personal experiences show that while neurodivergent individuals, particularly those on the autism spectrum, may express empathy differently, they often feel it more intensely than neurotypical individuals4.
The Double Empathy Problem
Enter the "Double Empathy Problem," a theory proposed by autistic scholar Dr. Damian Milton.
The communication gap between autistic and neurotypical individuals is mutual, as both struggle to understand each other’s expressions and empathy, with autistic people often expressing care and emotion in ways that differ from neurotypical norms, perpetuating the myth of a lack of empathy.
In fact, when we look closer, there are two kinds of empathy at play: cognitive empathy and affective empathy.
Cognitive empathy, or the ability to understand what others are thinking by reading social cues and unspoken emotions, is often challenging for autistic individuals due to difficulties in interpreting social nuances.
Affective empathy, or the ability to emotionally connect with and feel others' distress, is often strong in autistic individuals, debunking the stereotype that they are cold or indifferent.
The science of empathy speaks action
Let’s start with a study published in Nature (2024), which used neuroimaging to explore how autistic and neurotypical individuals respond to emotional stimuli.
This study demonstrates that individuals with higher autistic traits may process threatening emotions, like anger, in distinct ways influenced by their genetic makeup, particularly the oxytocin receptor (OXTR) genotypes, with altered neural responses in regions related to motivation and reward predicting these traits—suggesting that emotional processing could serve as a biomarker for autism, offering insights into early diagnosis and more targeted interventions.
This resonates deeply with the personal experiences of many autistic people, particularly in how they perceive and respond to emotions, especially negative or threatening ones like anger.
Autistic individuals frequently report that emotional recognition can be challenging.
For example, while they might struggle with interpreting facial expressions or social cues, they often feel emotions very intensely, which aligns with the study's findings that neural responses to emotions are unique and heightened for those with autistic traits5.
Autistic people often feel overwhelmed by the emotions of others.
They care so much, but expressing that empathy can be difficult in social contexts that demand eye contact, small talk, or other behaviors that feel uncomfortable for them.
An article published through NIH titled Reexamining empathy in autism: Empathic disequilibrium as a novel predictor of autism diagnosis and autistic traits demonstrates that autistic individuals tend to have an imbalance between emotional and cognitive empathy, termed "empathic disequilibrium."
For autistic adults, the concept of "empathic disequilibrium"—an imbalance between emotional and cognitive empathy—can offer valuable insight into their experiences.
Those with heightened emotional empathy may feel deeply for others but struggle to process or express these feelings in a way that aligns with societal expectations.
This imbalance can lead to emotional burnout, social fatigue, and challenges in managing relationships.
Understanding this dynamic is empowering, allowing autistic individuals to advocate for clearer communication and support, while fostering greater empathy from others, including employers and friends.
This perspective also challenges harmful stereotypes about empathy in autism, highlighting that empathy imbalances—not deficits—play a key role, offering a deeper framework for diagnosis and support in society.
It’s often the case that their emotional response is intense but internalized.
Case Study: Jake Barnett
I recall a case study about Jake, a boy with autism.
Jake Barnett, a math and science prodigy from Indianapolis, started taking college courses at age eight and, at 13, is a college sophomore involved in scientific research.
Diagnosed with autism after regressing at age two, Jake’s parents fostered his love for math and science, which helped him communicate and excel academically.
Despite his autism, Jake is proud of his condition, attributing his success in college to it. His extraordinary memory, love for learning, and passion for physics have led to groundbreaking research, and he's on track to pursue a Ph.D. at age 14.
Jake Barnett's story highlights that autism doesn't inherently limit emotional or intellectual empathy, as his deep passion for math and science demonstrates his capacity to connect with the world in meaningful ways.
His success shows that fostering the unique strengths of autistic individuals can help them not only excel but also break down misconceptions about empathy and emotional expression within the autistic community.
Case Study: Female autism phenotype
Another article that sticks out to me remarking the topic of autism and empathy is found in The Experiences of Late-diagnosed Women with Autism Spectrum Conditions: An Investigation of the Female Autism Phenotype.
Through in-depth interviews with 14 women diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Conditions (ASC) in late adolescence or adulthood, several themes emerge.
These women often had to "pretend to be normal," learning to mask their difficulties to fit in socially, which contributed to professionals overlooking their autism symptoms.
The study underscores how undiagnosed autism in women leads to struggles with traditional feminine roles and increased vulnerability to abuse, with case studies revealing that their behaviors were often misinterpreted as shyness or mental health issues instead of autism.
For instance, some women shared how they had to research and advocate for their diagnosis themselves after years of misdiagnosis.
One significant theme was how masking their symptoms led to exhaustion and confusion about their true identities.
Ultimately, their are calls for improved training for teachers and clinicians to better recognize autism in females, which could lead to earlier identification and intervention, mitigating some of the risks, such as mental health difficulties and exploitation, that women with undiagnosed autism face.
Neurodivergent strength
Just as I’ve seen how empathy is misunderstood in autistic individuals, I’ve also seen how neurodivergence itself can be a wellspring of strength.
People on the autism spectrum—particularly those with Asperger's or ADHD traits—often possess cognitive and emotional abilities that allow them to see the world in ways others can’t.
Their empathy, creativity, and focus often lead to extraordinary achievements.
It’s time to rewrite the narrative
It’s clear from the research—and from the lived experiences of autistic individuals—that the myth of "lacking empathy" is just that: a myth.
Autistic people experience empathy deeply, often in ways that go unrecognized by neurotypical society.
Their ability to connect, feel, and care may not fit conventional expectations, but that doesn’t diminish its validity.
As I reflect on the science and the stories I’ve encountered, it’s obvious to me that we need to shift our understanding of empathy to be more inclusive.
Neurodivergent minds don’t lack empathy—they simply express it differently.
Whether it’s a quiet gesture, an overwhelming sensitivity to emotions, or a laser-focused passion that helps them change the world, autistic individuals bring empathy, creativity, and brilliance to the table.
It’s time to recognize that neurodivergence isn’t a limitation. It’s a strength—one that the world needs now more than ever.
So, how might our understanding of empathy evolve if we embraced the idea that different expressions of care and connection, especially from neurodivergent individuals, are equally valid and powerful as conventional norms?
The term neurodiversity refers to variations in neurocognitive function, such as ADHD, autism spectrum disorder (ASD), and dyslexia, and while more neurodivergent students are enrolling in higher education, they often face unique challenges in academic completion due to cognitive differences like working memory impairments, which can increase cognitive load in online learning environments where instructional design and content presentation significantly impact learning outcomes for these students.
[For more information, read the article Neurodiversity Positively Predicts Perceived Extraneous Load in Online Learning.]
Recent research suggests that giftedness, much like neurodivergence, is characterized by unique brain differences, which can lead to challenges such as emotional intensity, executive functioning difficulties, and "gifted burnout," where high achievers struggle to manage expectations and may experience a profound sense of inadequacy when they fail to meet perceived potential.
[For more information, visit Whyy.org]
The theory of double empathy challenges traditional views on autism and empathy by proposing that difficulties in autistic-allistic interactions arise from differences in social understanding and reciprocity, rather than from any individual’s empathy deficiency, emphasizing that these challenges reflect diversity, not impairment.
[For more information, read the article from Taylor & Francis.]
Early influential work by Hans Asperger described autistic individuals as "solipsistic," implying they were emotionally disconnected from social interaction.
Simon Baron-Cohen's theory of mind hypothesis in the 1980s further reinforced this perception, suggesting that autistic people struggled with understanding others' mental states, thus contributing to the long-standing view of autism as defined by social and emotional deficits.
Both models significantly shaped the perception of autism as primarily characterized by a lack of empathy and social cognition
[From the articles Autism and the ‘double empathy problem’ and Does the autistic child have a “theory of mind”?]
The notion that neurodivergent individuals, particularly those on the autism spectrum, often feel empathy more intensely than neurotypical individuals has gained support through research and clinical observations.
While early diagnostic models of autism simplified the understanding of empathy in autistic individuals, newer studies show that they may express empathy differently, and, in some cases, experience heightened affective empathy.
This challenges the outdated belief that autistic individuals lack empathy entirely.
[For more on this topic, read Exploring Autism and Empathy Connections: Unraveling the Link. and Hyper-Empathy in Autism.]
From the article by Jennifer Gerlach, What is AuDHD?