Exactly! When my life was what one would perceive as "together", I was mentallly burnt-out from putting so much energy into maintaining a certain image or illusion and worrying about the way others perceived me (because while I had the steady job and generous income, for years, I still felt inadequate because I wasn't married and had no desire to have children, for example, which is something that is still frowned upon by so many). Currently, my life doesn't adhere to the norm, I have to embrace and navigate my way through a lot of uncertainties, but I feel more energised, clear and am healthier than ever before.
We seriously underestimate how much energy living up to society's "standards" costs us.
This is how you separate real friends/family members from those you can't count on. The people you can count on won’t judge you and will accept and respect the person you are.
It's surprising (and sad) when you realise how small that number of people is though. I can count them on one hand and those I always believed are the least judgemental were the most judgemental.
“The least judgemental were the most judgemental.” I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes things aren't as they seem and we have to find out the hard way. But that's the thing, the few we can trust are bonds/friendships that are ever lasting. Better to have a few good ones than a bunch of mediocre trustworthy ones.
I made the decision to stop pursuing perfection about 2 years ago - at 40, I finally quit my job because it didn't align with my passions or values, literally making me ill, and am consciously just allowing myself to navigate different paths and options without worrying about what other people think or how they perceive me, my decisions or my situation. From the moment I was in the position to consider quitting and taking time off to get clear on how I want to continue, for years, my contemplations revolved around the questions of "What will everyone think"? and "How will people react"?
I think that's our main drive behind wanting to be "perfect" - it's not even about us, it's about achieving and maintaining a certain image of how everything is supposed to be so those around us are impressed. I know so many people who have (outwardly) accomplished so much - seemingly great careers, families, a certain degree of financial security - yet are deeply unhappy and stuck in mind-numbing jobs and routines that only serve the purpose of upholding some illusion of perfection so that everyone else is impressed... I think recognising that your core motivation in life shouldn't be centered around others' opinions is the first step in breaking free from any type of desire to be "perfect" and being confident enough to allow your life to get a little messy if need be.
Having to please other's expectations of you can can be energy draining and an inefficient way to live. So you go girl! You do you.
Exactly! When my life was what one would perceive as "together", I was mentallly burnt-out from putting so much energy into maintaining a certain image or illusion and worrying about the way others perceived me (because while I had the steady job and generous income, for years, I still felt inadequate because I wasn't married and had no desire to have children, for example, which is something that is still frowned upon by so many). Currently, my life doesn't adhere to the norm, I have to embrace and navigate my way through a lot of uncertainties, but I feel more energised, clear and am healthier than ever before.
We seriously underestimate how much energy living up to society's "standards" costs us.
This is how you separate real friends/family members from those you can't count on. The people you can count on won’t judge you and will accept and respect the person you are.
It's surprising (and sad) when you realise how small that number of people is though. I can count them on one hand and those I always believed are the least judgemental were the most judgemental.
“The least judgemental were the most judgemental.” I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes things aren't as they seem and we have to find out the hard way. But that's the thing, the few we can trust are bonds/friendships that are ever lasting. Better to have a few good ones than a bunch of mediocre trustworthy ones.
That's true, less is definitely more when it comes to the people we surround ourselves with!
I agree!
I made the decision to stop pursuing perfection about 2 years ago - at 40, I finally quit my job because it didn't align with my passions or values, literally making me ill, and am consciously just allowing myself to navigate different paths and options without worrying about what other people think or how they perceive me, my decisions or my situation. From the moment I was in the position to consider quitting and taking time off to get clear on how I want to continue, for years, my contemplations revolved around the questions of "What will everyone think"? and "How will people react"?
I think that's our main drive behind wanting to be "perfect" - it's not even about us, it's about achieving and maintaining a certain image of how everything is supposed to be so those around us are impressed. I know so many people who have (outwardly) accomplished so much - seemingly great careers, families, a certain degree of financial security - yet are deeply unhappy and stuck in mind-numbing jobs and routines that only serve the purpose of upholding some illusion of perfection so that everyone else is impressed... I think recognising that your core motivation in life shouldn't be centered around others' opinions is the first step in breaking free from any type of desire to be "perfect" and being confident enough to allow your life to get a little messy if need be.
Your story is truly empowering.
Choosing to step away from the exhausting pursuit of perfection and live authentically takes immense strength.
It’s a powerful reminder that we don’t have to be polished to find meaning—real growth happens when we stop living for others’ expectations.
Your journey toward freedom is inspiring and a testament to the beauty of living for yourself.
Keep trusting the process—you’re creating something real and meaningful.